Let me share a personal story with you. Physical punishment was common when I was a child. Whenever I violated some rule or otherwise got in trouble, my mother would pull out my father’s old garrison belt and I would be forced to lay face down on the bed with my pants down while she beat my behind. That old belt was not only heavy and wide, but it had metal reinforced slots in it for field equipment the infantry may well need to carry.
There was a time that my brother and I set fire to a field and my mother literally raised a number of welts on my brother’s backside. I was a little luckier, but I’ll never forget the agony my brother suffered for weeks afterward.
His Justification
My father was in law enforcement and my mother was a stay-at-home mom. One of the things I remember most about my dad was his indefatigable defense of my mother no matter what. Once my mother stuck a butcher knife in my brother’s back while we were in the kitchen hassling her about something. I stepped in to stop her and she fell. When my father came home she told him that I had knocked her down. He immediately responded by letting me have it.
Later that night he came into my room and informed me that he had learned the truth. He then offered this apology, “You must understand that long after you’re gone, your mother and I will still be together.”
I remember that day well for he was in his blue uniform with that big hog-iron on his hip when he arrived home, and little did I know that this image would haunt me for years. Even when I worked in law enforcement, the unknown uniformed officer could make me very uncomfortable and I knew not why—at least consciously.
Forgiving and Letting Go
I did not think of my upbringing as child abuse. After all, even the teachers in those days would administer corporal punishment. My coach had a paddle that he resorted to, and I well remember almost being expelled from High School for threatening an algebra teacher who rapped my knuckles with a pointer for no good reason.
For years I harbored feelings that ranged from insecurity to an anger that sometimes verged on hatred, but I did not know why. Just imagine the sort of self-destructive behavior that this sort of ‘chip on your shoulder’ can produce. Perhaps these early experiences helped drive my interest in human motivation and non-conscious processes (the subconscious mechanisms and defense strategies that we all have). If so, then I absolutely can find the good in all of it for today I not only recognize the damage this abuse created but I have long since let it go. I hold no grudges or animosity toward my parents and I recognize that they were just doing the best they could, given who they were and their understanding at the time.
The Many Faces of Abuse
I have met many people in my lifetime, particularly as I have lectured around the world, but I have never met anyone who somehow magically escaped any and all forms of abuse. Sometimes the abuse came from other children, sometimes from so-called friends, sometimes from teachers, mentors and parents, but everyone I have ever spoken with has known some sort of abuse. And believe me, not all abuse is physical. Sometimes the abuse is repeated personal attacks, ridiculing and dismissing our personal worth. I can’t begin to count the number of people who have shared stories of how someone said hurtful things to them that impacted them for their entire life. So here’s the point, we have all been victims of abuse of one kind or another. However, to get on with our lives and become the very best we can be, we must let go of it all, heal it, and otherwise use it to strengthen who we are.
This special Healing from Abuse album was assembled for just this reason and I know that as you use it, you will begin to sense a new expression of freedom—for in letting it all go that’s exactly what happens, you set yourself free! Free to live life to its fullest and to enjoy the cornucopia of good that awaits you!
Healing from Abuse consists of 9 programs on 8 CDS. Titles include: Personal Peace, Powerful Self Esteem, Inner Peace, Survivors of Abuse, Healing from Invalidation, Healing the Past, Healing from Grief and Trauma, Healing Emotional Pain, and Releasing Anger. It is time for you to move on and stop allowing the past to dictate your future. Click Here to Get Your Copy Now.
Know this: In letting go, you set yourself free!
As always, thanks for the read.
Eldon Taylor
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