I was in my early teens when I was struck by a thought that would turn out to be one of the guiding principles for my entire life. I cannot tell you why I had this thought as there wasn’t anything significant going on in my life that would spark it, but some part of me must have realized how important it was, as to this day I can still remember exactly where I was when the thought occurred. The thought was this: I have nothing if I cannot like myself.
Self-esteem is a term that has been bandied around for a long time but what exactly does it mean? Most of us think that having self-esteem is a good thing, but according to the dictionaries it can mean either a confidence and satisfaction in oneself, or self-conceit. I do know that there is a big push by the public school system to make sure that kids have ‘self-esteem’ and they do this by handing out ‘participation’ awards to everyone and no longer recognizing those who come first, second or third. Is this healthy? There is also a definite movement in the New Age and self-help/motivational fields to promote self-esteem for we are all made perfectly—we are a part of God so of course we are perfect—and we should therefore appreciate our own perfection.
The Antidote
For me, there are actually two halves to the self-esteem equation. Sometimes it can seem as though there is a concerted effort to stop us from believing in ourselves as negativity can come from all directions—our immediate families, schools, peer-pressure, work place, and from society at large. Eldon covers a lot of this in his books, Choices and Illusions and also Mind Programming, where he does a great job in explaining both the organic and inorganic ways our ideas and beliefs are manipulated. The fact is we all need an antidote to the onslaught of negativity and this would explain why Soaring Self-Esteem consistently ranks in our top best selling InnerTalk programs. With affirmations like these, you can easily see why:
“I am confident. I am in control. I am capable. I create my future. I can do anything. I am self-responsible. I am one with the Divine. I am patient. Honesty is oneness. I am honest. I live in oneness. I am peaceful. I like myself. I am tranquil. I like others,” etc.
Another title that I really like is Healing from Invalidation:
“I know I am worthy of dignity and respect. I respect myself. I respect others. I now feel good about me. I choose to be happy. I choose to accept my worth. I am a valid human being. What I think matters. What I feel matters. Who I am matters,” etc.
Maximize Your Potential
However, it is the second half of the self-esteem equation that is really behind my guiding principle. You see, while I do believe that we come from a higher power, that birth is a miraculous process and that we are all born with amazing potential, I do not think that the story ends there. The real question is: What are we doing with all of that potential? Of course I appreciate the fact that some people are simply luckier than others, but there are plenty of examples of people who have achieved great success despite all odds, and also those who failed despite being born with the proverbial silver spoon. However, I’m really not talking about the huge successes that everyone focuses on but rather I am talking about all of those achievements that make us smile on the inside. These achievements can vary drastically from quitting smoking, to no longer being the office gossip, from being outgoing and charismatic at the office party that you were dreading, to having the patience with your child when they need your help yet again, from going a whole day without using any profanity to studying well enough that you passed your exam.
Liking myself is about assessing all of the choices that I make each and every day. It is all about making the most of my opportunities and looking around constantly to see if there is someone else whose life can be enriched by my presence. What can I do to improve myself and thereby maximize the gifts I was born with and what can I do to make the world a better place for those around me? Rather than being content with the person I am, I am constantly asking myself how I can become better? For me, creating a self that I like is an ongoing endeavor for it is always a matter of what can I take on next, did I do my best, and what will I think of myself when I put my head on the pillow at night. What do you think?
Wishing you love, light and laughter, always!
Ravinder