{"id":1450,"date":"2020-10-16T14:48:00","date_gmt":"2020-10-16T14:48:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.innertalk.com\/blog\/?p=1450"},"modified":"2020-11-07T14:36:11","modified_gmt":"2020-11-07T14:36:11","slug":"overcome-the-abuse-of-control-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.innertalk.com\/blog\/2020\/10\/16\/overcome-the-abuse-of-control-3\/","title":{"rendered":"Overcome the Abuse of Control"},"content":{"rendered":"

Most of us are aware of the long-term effects of physical and emotional abuse, the toll it takes on a person’s sense of esteem and self worth long after the abuse has ceased. It’s very common for the abused to have deep-seated beliefs that perhaps they deserved the abuse because of some perceived fault of theirs. This was why we created the Healing from Abuse<\/a> album, to deal with all of these feelings of being unworthy and incomplete. But recently I became aware of a kind of abuse that I think belongs in a different category.<\/p>\n

\"Create<\/p>\n

Early Training<\/h2>\n

Some time ago, I was talking to an old family friend, Jasmeet. Like my own parents, her parents had moved from India to the UK back in the early ’60s, and, to this day, they have held on to some of the values from their particular community from that particular time. Jas and her siblings were therefore brought up with a whole host of shoulds<\/em> and oughts<\/em> that were simply out of sync with their lives in the UK. While there was no physical or emotional abuse, there was a whole ton of stifling\/controlling rules that led them always to feel ill at ease with the world around them.<\/p>\n

Even though these five siblings have all gone on to have their own lives, raising amazingly successful children (both emotionally and academically), I realized during this conversation the extent of the deep-seated scars that they still all bear, old wounds that still control their choices. It reminded me of the story of the elephant that was tied as a baby and tripped every time it got to the end of the rope. It was trained so well not to escape that when it became an adult it never even tested the rope that it could have easily broken. In the same way, it became clear to me that their early childhood training was still holding these five siblings back. I couldn’t help but wonder what they would be able to achieve, how much happier they would feel, if only they would step out of the illusionary box surrounding them.<\/p>\n

Power of Rules<\/h2>\n

Jasmeet’s parents were very loving and caring, but were also incredibly strict. In many ways they are actually very similar to many people who come from other formalized backgrounds. In fact, I have spoken to a number of people from a variety of cultures\u2014religious, such as Catholic, Christian, Muslim, and non-religious but just very old-school<\/em>\u2014and their stories are very similar. When rules are followed with blind faith because they were being based on some higher or older teachings, but have really been tweaked to fit a narrow-minded community, then trauma seems to follow.<\/p>\n

While the kind of abuse I am referring to today is not physical because there is no threat of violence, nor is it emotional because there are no derogatory or demeaning words being used, it is still so overly controlling that the person stops believing in themselves. If you do not believe in yourself and your abilities, if you do not believe that you deserve any better, if you have come to accept<\/em> your place in life, then you can never become all that you can be.<\/p>\n

Heal from Abuse<\/h2>\n

\"Healing<\/a>Seeing that recovering from abuse is such a wide-spanning issue, we currently have Eldon’s Healing from Abuse<\/a> album on sale. This album consists of 9 programs on 8 CDs.<\/p>\n

Healing from Abuse<\/strong><\/a> consists of:<\/p>\n