When it comes to self-improvement/personal empowerment strategies, I tend to prefer to look forwards rather than backwards. Looking backwards generally involves examining your past, searching for the problem areas and focusing on healing them. While this can be most helpful, one of the things I found early on is that our histories are extremely complex and there is generally not one single event that sparks off a problem, but rather there are numerous triggering events that lend power to a minor hurt, feeding it and making it grow. Searching out all of these issues can take a long time and in the process, there is not much real improvement going on in your current situation. So, as I said, I tend to prefer looking forward and each day I ask myself, “What kind of InnerTalk would make this day better for me?” I then start each day choosing the InnerTalk programs I will play in the background all day that day while I work—simply a one day at a time kind of approach that works extremely well for me and for the many customers I speak to. However, in the search for ‘How high is up?’ sometimes it is necessary to look backwards as I discovered when faced with a recent situation.
Those of you who are Facebook friends will know that in August we took a vacation to the UK. However, it was much more than just a vacation as this was the first time I would be introducing my family to the life and family I had before I met Eldon. This is a complicated issue so to cut a long story short you should just know that most of my family disowned me for marrying Eldon—basically I had married without permission to someone who was not Sikh. In time, most of my family have come around and with the help of the Internet, e-mail, Facebook and instant messaging, I am now in regular contact with most of them. However, this has been a very long process so all Eldon and our children knew about my UK family was all the drama and politics that can go on.
The Impostor Syndrome
In last week’s newsletter, Eldon spoke about The Impostor Syndrome, and quite frankly, as our visit to the UK approached, I became more and more aware of the impostor within me. This is not to say that I had lied in any way to my family, but rather that, without knowing where I came from, they could only know one aspect of the whole me. The fact is, I am Indian and my upbringing was totally Indian, but my family is 100% American and I would not have wanted to bring up our boys any other way. With this trip though, they would see parts of me that they would not recognize—my familiarity and comfort with cultural norms that were alien to them, the joy I would have meeting up with friends and family that I have strong bonds with, but who are total strangers to them, and many other such things. I have to confess, that my fear of judgment was really causing my nerves to start jangling.
Now, being aware of what was going on should have made it easier for me to handle, but this really wasn’t the case, for I found myself just feeling more and more down, irritable, and off-balance. After a few days of this, I started examining it all more closely—what exactly was I feeling? And then it hit me—I did not feel ‘enough.’ I did not feel good enough, worthy enough, smart enough, capable enough and on and on. Now this may sound strange to you, but just go with it for now. Realizing how inadequate I was feeling, I of course began to think about which InnerTalk programs could help me the most. I have an automatic CD changer in my office and this last year I have found great benefit in putting together a list of complementary InnerTalk programs and simply playing them in the background as I get on with my office work. In fact, it has been from this process that we have created several new albums and a library, including Maximizing Brain Power, Eliminating Stress: Experiencing Joy and Turbo Charged Weight Loss.
Multi Faceted Esteem
The programs I put together this time were:
- Eradicating Inadequacy—We can never do our best at anything when we feel incapable;
- Releasing Anxiety— It is hard to think creatively or be productive when your emotions feel so tied up;
- Healing Emotional Pain—We all have old hurts that need to be healed;
- Healing from Invalidation—Insecurities can easily lead to feeling as though everyone else is more important than you, and this simply is not true;
- Healing the Past—There comes a time when it is important just to let go of the past; and
- Freedom from Worry—Worry and anxiety can be two sides of the same coin. Putting energy in worrying robs you of the energy you need to move forward.
And then, when I had the time to use the headphone programs, or when I felt like I needed an extra boost, I also used:
- Echo-Tech Have It All!—If you don’t believe you deserve all good things, then you will push some of them away;
- OZO Inner Peace—This is perfect whenever you need a quick way to center yourself; and
- Power Imaging Well-Being and Self-Esteem—This is a great way to create your mental happy place that you can then go to whenever you feel the need.
One of the things I have found on my self-empowerment journey has to do with the accelerated progress—the more I do this kind of work, the faster the results in whatever area I am focused on. Within a day or two of working with this new set of programs, I began to see old situations in context. It seems there were many triggering events throughout my childhood—old pains that I had simply buried away and ignored—and these were all playing a role in the feelings that I had been experiencing. However, as these memories surfaced they simply lost their power. As a result, by the time we left for our UK vacation, I was able to embrace the whole experience without feeling as though I was exposing my weaknesses.
It was a simply amazing trip. The Taylor Family got to meet most of the Sadana Family and relationships were strengthened all around. I also had great pleasure in introducing my husband and children to the UK that I love so much, including London, Stonehenge, Bath, Aberystwyth, Sheffield and York. It was an incredible experience, but it could not have happened if I had not dealt with all of my old baggage.
How much are old fears, insecurities and feelings of inadequacy holding you back today? Oftentimes, it can seem as though we have been successful at putting a Band-Aid over old problems and emotional hurts, as we simply get on with life. However, a little trigger here and a minor confrontation there can be all it takes for those feelings of inadequacy to come roaring back.
Reclaim Your Inner Power
This collection of InnerTalk programs was so effective for me that we have now put them into an album so you can experience it too. Reclaiming Your Inner Power: Ultimate Self Esteem really does work on all of those various aspects that can rob you of your power and agency over your own life. Now it is time for you to finally heal those inner wounds and reclaim your inner power. Get a set for yourself, and discover for yourself how empowering real self-esteem can be.
Wishing you Love, Light and Laughter, always!
P.S. If you enjoy these newsletters, please remember to share them with your friends and family. There are easy share buttons at the top of this newsletter. Please also be sure to friend me and Eldon on Facebook as we both love interacting with you all. You can also find us on Instagram (Ravinder, Eldon) and on Pinterest (Ravinder, Eldon), plus, you can read (and subscribe to) Eldon’s regular blog here.